


Lost and Found

by NocturniasDoctor (nocturnias)



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Drama, Friendship/Love, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnias/pseuds/NocturniasDoctor
Summary: This is my vision of what happens after Jack steps into the TARDIS at the season finale of Torchwood. In the Doctor's timeline it's post-Donna and pre-Martha.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> This is my vision of what happens after Jack steps into the TARDIS at the season finale of Torchwood. In the Doctor's timeline it's post-Donna and pre-Martha.

The doors opened, and he stepped in.

He didn't even hesitate, didn't think about Gwen waiting in his office for coffee, or Ianto, or Torchwood, or anything. No, this was the Doctor, symbolically crooking his little finger, and Jack went running. Too much was at stake not too. Too many questions, too few answers. He felt the thrum of movement, the groaning of gears as the TARDIS set off for who knew where. But that didn't matter to Jack.

There was something Jack needed to do.

He was leaning against the console, arms across his chest, a smile playing about his lips that didn't quite match his eyes. Jack took a few steps, stopped, studied him wordlessly. This wasn't the Doctor he'd fallen in love with, not physically, maybe not any other way. Yet it was. Fuck, Jack hated paradoxes.

"Hello, Jack," the new-to-him Doctor said softly.

The voice ran a shiver down Jack's spine. All the old feelings he'd trampled down on, pushed into a closet and locked away, burst out and demanded recognition. And Jack was tired of pretending. His encounter with the real Captain Jack had taught him a thing or two, and he was about to put it to use.

He crossed the space between them and punched the Doctor hard on the jaw.

The Doctor gasped and staggered back a few steps, touching his face, eyes bewildered, brows knitted in confusion. Before he could ask Jack said: "That's for leaving me to wonder what the hell happened for so long."

He pulled the Doctor against him and kissed him as hard as he'd just punched him, tangling his fingers in the soft light brown hair, his lips coaxing and pleading at the same time. He felt the Doctor return his kiss for a brief beautiful moment before he pulled back, both of them flushed and gasping for breath.

"And that's for coming back," Jack said.

"That's a hell of a hello, Captain," the Doctor managed at last.

"I've been saving the feelings up in a Christmas Club account. They've accumulated interest," Jack shot back.

The Doctor nodded, rubbing his jaw. "I deserve that," he acknowledged.

"That, and a lot more," Jack said. "But business before pleasure, Doctor." He turned the full force of his gaze on the Time Lord, words tumbling out so quickly he couldn't stop them. "What happened? Where did you go? What happened to Rose? I died, and now… I'm alive. And I can't die. And you left. And didn't come back until now. WHY?"

The Doctor winced at the progressive emotion in Jack's tone. He was running the scale of anger, hurt, confusion, fear, desire and love and back down again in one-hundredth time.

"Are you going to punch me again?" he asked lightly, trying to turn the intensity down a bit.

"Depends on what you have to say. If you're lucky you might get another kiss," Jack whispered. He moved against the Doctor, letting him feel his body without actually touching him. His mouth a centimeter away from the Doctor's ear, he whispered again. "Please. No riddles, no vague grandiose statements. Just the truth, whatever it is."

The Doctor moved back, brown eyes narrowing as they met Jack's blue ones. When he spoke his voice was tired, but resolved.

"All right. Follow me."

They went to the library. There was tea laced with brandy. Jack drank while the Doctor talked.

"So Rose… isn't really dead," Jack said slowly.

The Doctor's eyes flicked to his, then looked sharply away. "No."

Jack nodded. "I'd hoped she wasn't… that somehow…"

The Doctor smiled. "A miracle had been worked? It was. Not by me. Got her dad to thank for that."

"So they're all in that other universe. And you couldn't-"

"Don't you think I wanted to?" The Doctor asked angrily. "Do you honestly think I wanted to leave her and her family and Mickey there? I burned up a bloody planet in a supernova just to be able to tell her good-bye, Captain: does that sound like a shrug-off to you?"

"No," Jack said quickly, quietly. "I'm sorry. I guess because…"

"Because what?" The Doctor demanded. "That you thought I'd abandoned you, so I abandoned her as well?"

"You didn't come back!" Jack exclaimed.

"I couldn't, Jack! I died! And then there was all that mess with the new body, the threat to Earth… and not long after that you weren't even on the Satellite anymore!" His voice lowered as he pushed himself off the sofa and advanced on Jack. "Were you," he whispered.

Jack looked uneasy.

"You rode a rift back here," the Doctor went on. "You know how bloody dangerous that is."

"I was alone. I was desperate," Jack said tightly.

"I'm not knocking you for wanting to leave. But you took a big gamble, Captain. And there were consequences you haven't even had to consider yet. And I hope you never do."

Jack glanced down, feeling oddly chastened.

"And then you joined Torchwood."

"Yes."

"Why?"

Jack exhaled slowly. "At first, it was because it was my best chance of getting back to you."

The Doctor nodded, unsurprised. "And then?"

Jack shrugged. "The Earth needs help. Since you don't stick around, someone has to do it, now don't they."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to feel guilt. "I can't-"

"Bullshit," Jack retorted. "You mean you won't. And believe me, I understand that. All I'm saying is, don't condemn my decisions."

"People in glass houses, eh?" the Doctor smiled.

Jack couldn't help but return the smile. "Something like that."

An uneasy silence descended for a moment before the Doctor said: "I think it's your turn to tell me a story, don't you?"

So the Doctor drank, brandy minus the tea, as Jack told him about Torchwood, his newfound immortality, being immune to mind reading and mental suggestion but able to broadcast telepathically, not needing sleep. The Doctor's frown deepened the more Jack spoke. When he finished the Doctor sighed and paced the room for a moment before he stopped and sighed again.

"I suspected this would happen."

"What?" Jack asked.

"The TARDIS energy has changed you."

Jack laughed. "I thought I had just established that, Doctor."

"It's turned you into a human equivalent of a Time Lord."

All the color drained from Jack's face. "What?"

The Doctor gently pressed him back into the sofa and sat close to him. "Everything you've just described, save not regenerating when you die, are Time Lord traits. That energy was harnessed eons ago by Rassilon, the greatest Time Lord my people ever knew."

"I thought you were the greatest Time Lord your people ever knew," Jack quipped feebly, and the Doctor managed a smile.

"I wish I could tell you what else you've got in store from this, Jack. But I can't. Because I don't know. This never happened before in all the history of my people."

"Why have I always gotta be the first?" Jack groaned.

The Doctor shrugged. "Luck?"

"I'm not sure right now what a lucky man I am or not, Doctor," Jack said. "Dying isn't fun, you know. Even if you do come back."

"I know," the Doctor said simply.

Another silence. "So," Jack said, desperately wanting to lighten the mood. "This new body… it's pretty hot."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Is it?"

Jack nodded. "Definitely. Major points on the hotness scale."

A grin this time. "Yours is looking as good as ever."

"I know."

"So modest."

"Honest."

The Doctor realized suddenly that he was feeling a bit warm. Jack's body heat radiated into him like a summer sun. The conversation was taking a decidedly sexual turn, and he wasn't sure yet how he felt about that. Before he could make a joke or start nervous chattering, Jack leaned over and reversed their roles, pressing the Doctor back into the sofa and gently pinning him with his body. The Doctor gulped.

"Have you ever been with another Time Lord?" Jack asked softly.

A memory of Iris rushed through the Doctor like a river, then flowed away. "Once. Long ago."

"That's kind of a relative term for you, isn't it?"

The Doctor laughed nervously. Jack pressed against him a little harder, moving his lips to the Doctor's ear. "Want to find out what it's like with the human version?"

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Jack…"

"Oh, don't you dare, Doctor," Jack ordered. "Don't you even fucking dare to tell me you don't feel something."

The Doctor grabbed Jack's hand and put it where actions could speak louder than words, then moved it away. "Did that seem like I don't feel anything, Captain?"

"Then what's your damage, Doctor?" Jack countered.

"Just because we want each other doesn't mean we should act on it," the Doctor said.

"Why not? Aren't you sick of it?" Jack demanded, holding the Doctor in place and pressing his mouth to his neck, feeling the pulse leap beneath his lips like a startled animal.

"Sick of what?" the Doctor managed, trying not to moan as Jack kissed his neck.

"Of being so aloof. Of keeping everyone out. Of never being alone but always being alone. Never telling anyone how you feel, how much they mean to you until it's too late." He paused to trace the Doctor's ear lightly with his tongue, felt a surge of satisfaction as the Doctor shivered, and continued. "I'm here to tell you, I just found this out the very hard way. It sucks. And I'm done with it. And you should be too."

"I-"

"Yes, you can," Jack said firmly. "You're the bravest being I've ever met, except with your heart."

"Hearts," the Doctor corrected without thinking.

"Whatever. My point is… let go of it before it destroys you."

Silence filled the library, punctuated every few seconds by Jack's murmurs and the Doctor's gasps. After what seemed like forever the Doctor lifted his head and looked at Jack.

"I'd rather never do this… than lose you as a friend."

Jack's eyes burned like blue fire. "You won't."

The Doctor nodded and exhaled. "Well, then, call me old-fashioned, but I'd like to do this properly."

He stood up, pulled Jack to his feet, and led him to the bedroom.

It was amazing, Jack realized, how alike they were underneath it all. The Doctor was thinner than him, less muscular, but it still looked like a human body on the outside. And it had human reactions. The Doctor moaned when Jack licked his nipples, sighed when he stroked his face. Jack watched him like a hawk, not knowing when he'd see him again, wanting to remember every movement, every expression of this. He even kept his eyes open when they kissed, a long lazy kiss, Jack watching the Doctor's skin flush, his eyes moving behind the lids, then opening to look into his. They watched each other for a moment before Jack couldn't stand the intensity of that gaze and his eyes fluttered shut. He was sorry he did, but glad, too; the sensations were amazing with his eyes closed. The Doctor stroked long fingers down Jack's chest and it was his turn to moan.

The Doctor removed Jack's clothes with a few deft movements, sliding his still-clothed form over Jack's bare skin until Jack couldn't stand it any longer. The Doctor's clothes came off with a whisper of buttons and then it was warm flesh on cool flesh, melding them into a perfect temperature of passion. There was no world outside their hands and mouths, no universe existed to come between their bodies. There was only two lonely beings, no longer alone and rejoicing in that knowledge. The Doctor surprised Jack by becoming the aggressive one: he slid into him with the cry of a man who had taken a long journey and finally found his way home. Jack moved in synch with him, matching his movements, gripping the Doctor's hands in his, their fingers twining together so hard he thought they would break. Bu the only thing that broke was the Doctor's control as he thrust against Jack, his movements primal and raw. Jack studied his face, lips parted, skin glistening, and thought that it was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

The Doctor felt Jack's body move with his, drove himself even deeper into him, wanting to become part of him. The energy that was inside Jack had made him the closest thing the Doctor would ever find to another Time Lord, and he didn't want to let it go even as he wanted release. Release from his pain, and Jack's pain, and the loneliness he'd felt since he'd lost Rose. Release from all the self-imposed bindings that had kept him from showing caring, affection, love. Jack was right; it was time to throw it all away. Starting here, now.

Jack opened his eyes to see the Doctor looking at him with an expression so happy and peaceful it made Jack want to cry. He opened his mouth to say something and stopped, frozen in amazement, as he heard the Doctor's voice in his mind.

You don't have to say it, Jack. I know.

Jack was so stunned he went still. I… I can hear you! Can you hear me?

Rich, warm laughter filled his head. Yes. You've got the same energy in you that's in the TARDIS, that's in me, so to speak. No one else might be able to get in your skull, but I can.

Jack drew a ragged breath. Oh… oh God, Doctor…

The Doctor stopped, alarmed. Jack?

Jack dragged him back for a kiss, moving against him again feverishly. Don't stop. Stay here. Don't leave my mind, dear God please don't…

The Doctor was bewildered. Jack! Tell me what's wrong!

Jack flipped them over, driving himself into the Doctor even as the Doctor's mind pushed into his. Jack!

Doctor… before you did that…I…

Jack came hard, with a cry of triumph and a thrust that sent the Doctor over the edge even as he demanded: Jack! Tell me what you're talking about! Now!

Jack collapsed on him, kissing him, tears sliding from his tightly closed eyes onto the Doctor's skin as his mind whispered: Before you did that… I thought I had died inside, too…

A few hours later they stood together in the door of the TARDIS, wrapped in each other's arms, looking out over the now-restored Thames from a safe distance.

"Did you have something to do with it drying up?" Jack asked suspiciously.

The Doctor only smiled.

"So what's your plan now?" Jack asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "You know me. Wrongs to right, worlds to save. It's what I do."

He turned in Jack's arms to look at him. "You could come with me, you know."

Now it was Jack's turn to smile. "I could."

"But you won't," the Doctor finished.

Jack kissed him. "I want to. You know that. But I have a life here now. It's not much of one, but it's mine. And I want it. Even more than I want this."

The Doctor nodded. "You could stay here," Jack countered with a grin.

"What, and be locked in a cell next to a Weevil? No, thank you," the Doctor answered tartly.

"I'd visit you," Jack teased.

"I bet you would." The Doctor grew serious. "You know what Torchwood is meant to do, Jack. By rights, you should be locking me up. Or something."

"Tempting as it is, I can't do that."

"Not one of the big, bad aliens you need to protect Earth from, am I?"

"Oh, you're big," Jack smirked. "And you're definitely bad. But not for the Earth."

"What about for you?"

Jack looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Would you rather never see me again?" the Doctor asked.

Jack exhaled loudly. "O-K, one of us is crazy and for once it's not me. Of course I want to see you again. Why would you ever ask that?"

"Well, there's Ianto, and Gwen—"

"What about Gwen?" Jack asked quickly.

The Doctor shrugged. "I just get the feeling there's something between you two."

"She's just my friend."

"For now," the Doctor said.

Jack decided to ignore that. "And Ianto… it's not like that. We're healing each other. I care about him, but it's not like…"

"Like what?"

"Like I love you."

The Doctor sighed.

"Look, I don't care. I don't care if you don't or can't love me. It doesn't change how I feel."

The Doctor's eyes hardened. "And where do you get off thinking I can't love you?"

Jack swallowed. "Rose…"

"Is gone. Alive, but gone. And yes, I'll always love her. I'll also always love Sarah. And Tegan. And Ace." His gaze softened as he added: "And you."

Jack nodded slowly. "Fair enough. But you disappeared on me once, Doctor. Don't do it again. Not for too long. Or next time I will keep you in a cage."

"Promises, promises."

Jack glanced down. "I've always wanted to shag over the Thames."

The Doctor kissed him. "I think I can oblige, Captain."  
**************************************************************

"Where could he be!" Gwen exclaimed. "He was here a minute ago!"

"Who was?" a voice asked innocently.

They spun around to see Jack coming through the opposite door. "Jack! Where did you go!" Gwen exclaimed. "One minute you were here, then there was this noise, and this wind… out with it, mister!"

"Oh, nowhere in particular," Jack said airily, patting Gwen's shoulder and kissing Ianto on the cheek. "I just had to have a quick visit with a Doctor."


End file.
